1 00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:05,041 The mind does anything 2 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:07,083 to stay in power. 3 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,916 It tells us 4 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,916 that without its presence 5 00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:19,500 in everything, 6 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:21,083 we won't function. 7 00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:27,458 We won't love or be loved. 8 00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:38,708 So, notice the nasty tone-- 9 00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:40,958 {\an8}-Oh, come on. -…the bullying voice… 10 00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,958 {\an8}Pass! 11 00:01:43,041 --> 00:01:45,541 {\an8}-…the mind abusing. 12 00:01:49,916 --> 00:01:53,000 This is the frightened ego. 13 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,125 Frightened because… 14 00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,541 Jesus Christ! 15 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:03,333 …what we are looking for, because the things 16 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:06,750 -it tells us are not truths, only stories. -Oh. 17 00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:11,958 And while story needs mind and mind needs story… 18 00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,541 -Mom? -Hey. 19 00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:30,958 Mom, I have one bar of reception, and I'm at work. 20 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,541 I have to teach a guy to strangle me, 21 00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:34,625 so I can't talk right now. 22 00:02:34,708 --> 00:02:35,958 -Um… -Yeah, okay. 23 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,083 Yeah, actually, I can't talk either. Um… 24 00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,041 The truth is very quiet. 25 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,166 I'm just calling 'cause, um… 26 00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,333 I'm gonna be leaving reception any minute, 27 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:49,708 and I'm gonna be on a semi-silent retreat in the wilderness, so, um… 28 00:02:50,833 --> 00:02:52,750 Yeah, so don't expect to hear from me. 29 00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:54,500 …presence… 30 00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:58,541 -Dyl? I lost you. Um… -…doesn't scream or hold us hostage. 31 00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:01,625 -I can't hear you. But, bye. -It doesn't need us. 32 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:02,750 Bye-bye. 33 00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,041 But it is here for us. 34 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,208 -There you go. -Thank you. 35 00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:42,500 So… 36 00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:46,166 The silence will begin at 6:00 p.m., following the welcome meeting. 37 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,541 There is no Wi-Fi outside of reception, 38 00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,833 and it's a low-to-no technology retreat. 39 00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:52,375 -Okay. -Ooh, also, 40 00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,625 if you could sign… here, 41 00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:59,166 just agreeing to be in the, uh… 42 00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:01,416 -promotional DVD. -Yeah. 43 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:05,083 Uh, no, I don't wanna be filmed. That's why I didn't sign it. 44 00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:06,416 Oh. Okay. 45 00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:11,875 Well, uh, if you could motion to Mark from the film school… 46 00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:13,958 -Hmm? -…he'll be behind the camera. 47 00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:15,291 But you'll tell him too. 48 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:17,458 No, it's just I don't want my daughter or my ex, 49 00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:19,458 you know, to… 50 00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:21,875 see what I say, if I say anything. 51 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:26,166 I can make a note, but if you could tell him yourself… 52 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,333 I have a lot to be abreast of. 53 00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:30,416 -So I'd appreciate that. -Sure. Okay. 54 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,208 Teamwork. 55 00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:35,291 Um… So… 56 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:37,541 meeting room. 57 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,583 Yeah. 58 00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:40,166 Bridge. 59 00:04:40,916 --> 00:04:42,000 Maze. 60 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,500 And rooms are beyond. 61 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,291 Ooh. Any especially good? 62 00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,958 -Room nine. -They're all the same. 63 00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:48,666 Oh. I was just… 64 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:51,458 I'm… I was joking. It's a totally weak joke. 65 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,375 Yeah. 'Cause… See, we're here trying to get enlightened, 66 00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,500 so it shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. 67 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,250 I'll take a map. 68 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,041 Uh, there's some phone reception by the trash. 69 00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:04,541 -Uh-huh. -It's only for emergencies. 70 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,458 Thanks. 71 00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:15,958 Only for emergencies with technology and reception. 72 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,875 Oh, fuck! 73 00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,291 If you need to talk, just call your dad. 74 00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:08,166 Why would I call Dad? I never call Dad. 75 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,916 'Cause you won't be able to call me. 76 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,625 Okay. I think I'll manage. 77 00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,708 I mean, I hardly ever call either of you. 78 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,833 Well, if something goes wrong… 79 00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,250 You know your job's dangerous. 80 00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,666 You know, accidents do happen. 81 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,458 Mom, can you not? 82 00:06:23,541 --> 00:06:25,875 Well, actually, nothing kills you in New Zealand anyway, 83 00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:27,625 -so I'll be fine. -Okay. 84 00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:30,000 Sure. 85 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:32,375 I worry. 86 00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,083 Yeah, I know, but can you not? 87 00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:36,541 Because it actually throws me off. Please? Like-- 88 00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,958 Okay. Yes! I'm sorry. 89 00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:40,791 Elmore's ready for stunt. 90 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:44,208 -Copy. Fuck. I gotta go. -Why, because of me? 91 00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,708 No, because of work. I'm just late already. 92 00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,500 Well, uh… 93 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:52,416 Look, I will text you 94 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,416 when the silence is over. 95 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,958 -Yeah? -Yeah. Okay. 96 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,125 Um, love you. 97 00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:01,625 Have a good experience, and I hope you enjoy it. 98 00:07:01,708 --> 00:07:04,375 Yeah. I mean, unless I decide to prolong it, you know? 99 00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:10,416 If I don't text you, then don't contact me, I guess. 100 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,250 Okay. 101 00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,708 -Love you. -Bye, baby. 102 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:23,041 You are not lost. You are not broken. 103 00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:28,250 I invite you to begin this time… 104 00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,750 without yourselves… 105 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,250 …without the stories that drove you here… 106 00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:36,750 Yes! 107 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,708 …parked your cars… 108 00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:45,250 …though I'm sure they are very compelling. 109 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:54,083 I invite us to be quiet… 110 00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:00,625 to give ourselves permission to be… 111 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:06,958 a little mysterious. 112 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,958 Silence in the context of retreat 113 00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,708 is not only about not talking, 114 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:21,875 it's an opportunity to no longer participate in socializing. 115 00:08:29,791 --> 00:08:32,541 I encourage you not to smile at each other. 116 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,333 No winking. 117 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,916 No signing. 118 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,916 But… 119 00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:52,208 you can use the board or come to Petunia or myself 120 00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:55,083 if you're experiencing panic, of course. 121 00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:00,333 Maybe see what happens, though. 122 00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:08,125 Yes. Maybe see what happens if you let yourself feel that panic 123 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:11,125 on your own a little first. 124 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,833 It may not be… 125 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,083 all that it seems. 126 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,791 -Oh, uh, other hand. -Oh. 127 00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,208 -Was that too hard? -No, it's fine. 128 00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,875 But you don't need to squeeze, because I'm just pulling you. 129 00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,000 True, true. 130 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,791 -All good. -Okay, I'll follow you. 131 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,375 That's right. And remember, you can't hurt me. 132 00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:49,583 -I have full control. It's fine. -Okay. 133 00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,666 -Ready? -Yeah. 134 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:54,750 Okay. 135 00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:56,750 And… three, 136 00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:59,541 two, one. 137 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,708 Oh, shit! 138 00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:07,250 Are you… 139 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,333 Are you all right? What? 140 00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:14,625 Nah. Nah. Don't do that to me. 141 00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:16,708 -Don't. -No, it does hurt… 142 00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:19,458 Sorry. Okay. No, that was great. You did really good. 143 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,000 Okay. All right. 144 00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,291 Let's do it again. 145 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,791 -All right. Well, do you wanna try this? -Oh, yeah. So… Okay. 146 00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,458 Ugh! 147 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,416 -Ow! -Nah. 148 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,291 Not twice. 149 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,583 You're absolutely mangling your apple. 150 00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:38,625 Shh! I'm concentrating! 151 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,208 What are you doing to that apple? 152 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,041 That's not what I showed you. 153 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,500 Fuck! 154 00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:50,541 This is not fair. 155 00:10:51,625 --> 00:10:53,625 How? 156 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,625 Okay. 157 00:11:00,791 --> 00:11:02,750 I wanna beat you at everything, so… 158 00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,125 You are such a sore loser. 159 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:07,083 That's really something. 160 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,916 Two flightless birds for you. 161 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,416 Oh! 162 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,833 What the fuck? 163 00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:28,416 Ow. 164 00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:54,666 Fuck! 165 00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,000 Hmm… 166 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,625 No. Breakfast is finished. 167 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,041 Hi. 168 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,791 Thank you for joining us. 169 00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:45,916 Yeah, of course. 170 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Great. 171 00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:48,750 We've been a very quiet bunch here. 172 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,708 The airport was just a fiasco. I'm so sorry. 173 00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,125 Good, good, good. 174 00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,750 -It's pretty! -Yes. 175 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,791 -What room am I? -We've got you in room number nine. 176 00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:19,041 -Cool. Thank you. -You're welcome. Follow me. 177 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,708 -Mm. -Good. 178 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,500 Where's Elon? 179 00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:28,500 Uh, he's meditating. 180 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,041 Come, come, come. 181 00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:35,541 There's no fucking way. 182 00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:48,166 It's not complicated. That's four times now. 183 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:51,291 He wants you to die, like, a bit more slowly. 184 00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:52,458 Yeah, after the first. 185 00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,500 You need to go faster going up. 186 00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:55,791 Then you take the arrow, 187 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,750 then you fall and you face more the camera, 188 00:14:57,833 --> 00:14:59,791 so we can see you, all right? 189 00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:00,750 -Yeah. -Cool. 190 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,791 We've done it four times, guys. Come on. We-- 191 00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,500 Okay. We're gonna go again, guys. 192 00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,458 It doesn't work. They rehearsed for two days. 193 00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:10,291 -Okay, last looks. -What is happening? 194 00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,041 And… action. 195 00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:15,791 Four, three, two, one. Go! 196 00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,875 -And cut! No. -That's a cut? 197 00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:26,458 It doesn't work. We've tried ten times… 198 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,166 Hey. Could you take a photo for me? 199 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:47,833 -Oh, it's over. -Oh. 200 00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,166 Elon broke it. 201 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:50,625 Did you sleep in? 202 00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:55,208 Um… My alarm didn't go off. Well, actually, it went… Oh. 203 00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:56,625 Oh, it's fading. 204 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,708 Um… 205 00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:02,083 Okay. 206 00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:08,125 Can you take a couple? 207 00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:15,708 Okay. How's that? 208 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:21,791 Oh, I'm in shadow. 209 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,125 Well, it's, um, backlit, so… 210 00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,541 Are you a photographer? 211 00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:30,083 No. 212 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:34,041 I've taken a few portraits, but, um… 213 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,791 -Thanks. -Sorry. 214 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:46,916 Mm. 215 00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,791 Uh, my dad was a bully. 216 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:54,875 He was a small, aggressive, white Palagi man. 217 00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:57,500 He stopped bullying me when I got bigger than him. 218 00:17:58,791 --> 00:18:00,750 I begged my body to get bigger. 219 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,541 Mind control. 220 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:12,208 And now I'm supporting him financially, 221 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,041 'cause he's ill, 222 00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:16,583 and 'cause he's my dad. 223 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,500 My… My sister made this comment about him, 224 00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:24,708 and I didn't take it too well… 225 00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,166 at all. 226 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,750 But I want to. 227 00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:39,041 I'm ashamed, 228 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:42,500 and I'm afraid… 229 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:46,708 …of what she's going to say. 230 00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,750 Yeah. 231 00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,708 If he hurt her… 232 00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:55,208 I'm gonna finish him off. 233 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,708 But not, you know, now, 234 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:03,000 'cause I've told all you guys our plan, so… 235 00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,750 That'd be stupid. 236 00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:09,666 Hmm. Did anybody connect? 237 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:14,833 Yeah. 238 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,875 Is that what we're gonna do, Elon? 239 00:19:21,416 --> 00:19:22,458 Do what? 240 00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:27,833 Enough doing. 241 00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,500 -Yeah? -Yeah. 242 00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:37,125 Look what people have done so far. 243 00:19:41,791 --> 00:19:46,250 Okay. Is there anyone else left who's willing to share a shame? 244 00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:51,000 Or a secret? 245 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,458 I will. 246 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,250 Okay. 247 00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:00,916 Thank you, Dion, for your honesty. 248 00:20:01,791 --> 00:20:03,750 I'm humbled before you. 249 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,583 Oh, I… I don't wanna be filmed. 250 00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:12,625 Okay. No problem. Turn it off. Turn it off. 251 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:19,416 So, I am filled with 252 00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:23,750 shame upon shame… 253 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:30,666 …as I go ahead and reveal my shallow, insipid secret. 254 00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:32,458 Um… 255 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:38,083 I know, um, that I'm young, 256 00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,500 and that we're in a youth culture, and I have currency. 257 00:20:43,916 --> 00:20:46,083 But I'm scared that it's all… 258 00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,125 going to go away. 259 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,291 All right. 260 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,541 It will. 261 00:20:57,833 --> 00:20:59,750 Trust your elders. 262 00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:09,875 Right. But I know what it's like to have somebody… 263 00:21:12,708 --> 00:21:14,625 analyze my body… 264 00:21:16,333 --> 00:21:18,708 Not out of lust or love, but… 265 00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:22,875 something reptilian in it. 266 00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:26,625 And sometimes I can't finish sentences, 267 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:31,458 because I can't tell if they're looking or listening. 268 00:21:34,416 --> 00:21:36,500 And I thought I would grow out of it, but… 269 00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:39,958 I like to write suicide notes. 270 00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:45,416 And I fantasize about my funeral. 271 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,208 And in the f… 272 00:21:50,291 --> 00:21:51,750 In the fantasy, 273 00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,166 I'm young. 274 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:59,541 And I don't know what they're looking at, but I… 275 00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:01,708 I don't want it to disappear. 276 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,250 I'd rather be dead. 277 00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,541 That's my shame. 278 00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,458 I'm just… 279 00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:18,333 wondering, Beverly, about these suicidal thoughts. 280 00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:22,291 Oh. No, I mean… I have a while. 281 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,250 Hmm. Well, this… 282 00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:31,916 This kind of illusion is, um… 283 00:22:41,416 --> 00:22:44,083 It… It's the kind that has, um… 284 00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:52,375 a built-in self-destruct mechanism. Okay? 285 00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:55,125 So this ship 286 00:22:56,208 --> 00:23:00,166 can only take you so far before it obliterates itself. 287 00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:01,833 And me with it? 288 00:23:01,916 --> 00:23:04,333 No. 289 00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:08,250 No. You are the passenger, not the vehicle. 290 00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,583 You are at an airport right now. 291 00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:13,958 You know your flight will crash. Do not get on it. 292 00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:16,958 Do not get on it. 293 00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:20,541 -Yeah? -Right. Okay. 294 00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:21,875 Although, sometimes… 295 00:23:21,958 --> 00:23:25,833 crashing… crashing has its… 296 00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:28,833 has its benefits. 297 00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:35,375 Okay. Is there anyone left, um, 298 00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:37,291 or have we all gone? We've all gone. 299 00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,333 She wasn't here this morning. 300 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,000 Uh… 301 00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:49,916 Well… I mean… 302 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,416 I mean, after that, I guess I'm kind of ashamed to be over 40. 303 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,875 It's not about you. 304 00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,083 Mm, no. Just, um… 305 00:23:58,791 --> 00:23:59,916 Well, you're young. 306 00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:02,250 You'll see how it feels one day. 307 00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,291 I'm… 308 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,875 Unless you… 309 00:24:06,958 --> 00:24:09,208 -Kill myself? -No. 310 00:24:09,291 --> 00:24:11,208 No, that's not what I meant. 311 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:13,375 Uh… 312 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,583 I mean, unless you're too enlightened. 313 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,750 Hmm. 314 00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:24,833 Okay. Would you like to come up? 315 00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:28,666 Mm. Okay. Sure. 316 00:24:29,541 --> 00:24:30,708 Thank you. 317 00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:40,750 Um… 318 00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:43,083 Well, my parents were always, uh, 319 00:24:43,833 --> 00:24:45,125 testing me for greatness 320 00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:47,791 when well, when they weren't… 321 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:52,500 depressed or drinking all their money. Um… 322 00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:55,708 But that sharpened me, I think. 323 00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:58,041 I was sharp. Um… 324 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,416 Maybe I'm only sharp in a cutting way now. 325 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:08,791 Um, yeah, 'cause it used to feel like it was going somewhere. 326 00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,666 You know, I played piano, and, um… 327 00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:15,125 I was on this television show, when I was a teenager, 328 00:25:15,208 --> 00:25:17,583 as a warrior princess. 329 00:25:17,666 --> 00:25:19,541 I remember. Flora the Fierce. 330 00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:21,541 It was solid. 331 00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:23,833 Yeah. Thanks. Um… 332 00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:32,541 And my parents, um, 333 00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:35,833 they really wanted to be happy, and they just weren't. 334 00:25:38,416 --> 00:25:40,625 Um, and… 335 00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:43,708 Well, I wanted to be happy too, but I find it doesn't stick, 336 00:25:43,791 --> 00:25:45,083 so, um… 337 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,958 I decided a long time ago that, um, 338 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:53,416 maybe being happy isn't it, maybe there's something more. 339 00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:58,958 I think I've lived in tandem 340 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,916 with that "something more" ever since. Um… 341 00:26:03,916 --> 00:26:05,583 So maybe 342 00:26:05,666 --> 00:26:07,375 I'm ashamed that, um… 343 00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,583 after all this time, 344 00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,041 I'm still just in tandem. 345 00:26:14,958 --> 00:26:16,125 Yeah. 346 00:26:17,041 --> 00:26:18,833 And still just a… 347 00:26:18,916 --> 00:26:21,833 greedy, needy, lazy, paranoid human living off the money 348 00:26:21,916 --> 00:26:24,666 I made from a character that gave me an eating disorder. 349 00:26:26,125 --> 00:26:27,791 I hope I'm funny, but, um… 350 00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:30,041 I can be… 351 00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:32,583 Well, I'm mean. 352 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,750 Well, sometimes I'm just a cunt. 353 00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:52,833 Does anyone relate to this? 354 00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:24,458 -Oh. -Oh. 355 00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:31,083 Looks like you've discovered my smoking corner. 356 00:27:33,416 --> 00:27:34,750 Guess I'm busted. 357 00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,625 Oh, you smoke? 358 00:27:40,708 --> 00:27:42,083 Mm. 359 00:27:43,583 --> 00:27:45,375 I'm not a monk, I'm enlightened. 360 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,291 Just one a week. 361 00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:52,416 Two puffs. 362 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,708 I thought enlightened people 363 00:27:54,791 --> 00:27:57,041 weren't supposed to say they were enlightened, though. 364 00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:00,583 Isn't that how us mere mortals can tell? 365 00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:06,791 I've seen nuns smoke. 366 00:28:10,916 --> 00:28:14,833 -I don't know. -I feel… Hmm… 367 00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:17,041 You might as well enjoy it while it lasts. 368 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,541 Enlightenment. 369 00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:27,625 Do you think it won't? 370 00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,750 I don't think. 371 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,583 Oh, you're smiling 372 00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:43,208 a lot, actually. 373 00:28:44,416 --> 00:28:46,958 It changes your… your whole face. It's… 374 00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:50,333 It's wonderful. 375 00:29:15,083 --> 00:29:16,333 So… 376 00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,166 there is somebody. 377 00:29:26,291 --> 00:29:27,708 Or nobody. 378 00:29:32,208 --> 00:29:33,583 There's both. 379 00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:37,666 -Both? -Yeah. 380 00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:45,916 Okay. 381 00:29:57,541 --> 00:29:59,000 How close have you been? 382 00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,625 Me? 383 00:30:03,416 --> 00:30:05,333 You said you feel like you were in tandem 384 00:30:05,416 --> 00:30:08,541 with something more, so how close? 385 00:30:09,916 --> 00:30:11,333 Oh, inseparable. 386 00:30:11,416 --> 00:30:13,333 But then, somehow, I'm separated. 387 00:30:13,416 --> 00:30:15,791 Well, you know, maybe it's both. 388 00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:21,666 Hmm… 389 00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:22,916 No. 390 00:30:25,666 --> 00:30:26,833 Maybe. 391 00:30:27,791 --> 00:30:30,666 Yeah, um, it's just, 392 00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:33,166 there's a knowing that you're in another place 393 00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:35,208 that isn't the everyday. 394 00:30:35,291 --> 00:30:37,250 Why isn't it the everyday? 395 00:30:38,125 --> 00:30:40,916 I mean, isn't there room for all of it? 396 00:30:42,416 --> 00:30:45,583 It's enlightenment. It's… everything. 397 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:49,833 Yeah, it is everything. 398 00:30:49,916 --> 00:30:51,416 At the same time, 399 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:56,208 there's a difference between actually being enlightened 400 00:30:56,291 --> 00:30:58,375 and, like, now. 401 00:30:58,458 --> 00:31:02,625 What's stopping you from being enlightened right now? 402 00:31:02,708 --> 00:31:03,708 Mm. 403 00:31:04,583 --> 00:31:06,083 Are you enlightened right now? 404 00:31:07,583 --> 00:31:12,208 Yeah, I think even if I don't have consciousness of it 405 00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:16,041 or, you know, the language, maybe, to explain it 406 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:18,458 in a way that's satisfying to you, 407 00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:23,250 I think, yeah, it could really just be happening right now. 408 00:31:23,333 --> 00:31:24,791 Hmm. 409 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,625 Well, as someone who's been on this path for a while, 410 00:31:28,708 --> 00:31:30,583 I mean, I'm only speaking for myself-- 411 00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:32,791 We can all only speak for ourselves. 412 00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:35,333 Who else would you be speaking for? 413 00:31:35,416 --> 00:31:37,250 I am speaking for myself. 414 00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:39,916 -I'm just saying that… -It is the nature of being. 415 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,250 …there have been moments where, um… 416 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,291 I have felt a true connection to everything that is. 417 00:31:52,291 --> 00:31:54,500 You know? Moments, uh, 418 00:31:54,583 --> 00:31:58,875 where I have been so supremely shaken and held, 419 00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:02,125 um, that were both, um… 420 00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:06,916 …inevitable 421 00:32:08,083 --> 00:32:09,666 and miraculous. 422 00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:12,333 But you know that it's not the everyday, 423 00:32:12,416 --> 00:32:14,041 and you know that it isn't maybe. 424 00:32:14,125 --> 00:32:16,333 This is what I'm saying. 425 00:32:16,416 --> 00:32:18,375 Both! 426 00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:21,666 I mean, that's what Elon just said in class, and you're repeating it. 427 00:32:21,750 --> 00:32:23,250 But I'm saying it now. 428 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:26,458 -Both of us are saying it. -Yes. Yes, you are. 429 00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,791 So do you feel like 430 00:32:29,875 --> 00:32:32,791 the dissatisfaction comes from inside you? 431 00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:38,750 Yes. 432 00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:42,291 Mm. 433 00:32:43,458 --> 00:32:46,541 Well, it sounds like you know what you need to work on, then. 434 00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:53,958 No more. 435 00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,458 What are you doing outside of your… 436 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,125 -Well, I just… -…warm haven? 437 00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,666 My eye was drawn. Yup. 438 00:33:26,375 --> 00:33:28,625 -Are you cold? -Uh… 439 00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:30,333 I mean… 440 00:33:30,416 --> 00:33:32,166 -We can go sit in the old… -…snow. 441 00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:33,750 …sit in the thing, if you want. 442 00:33:33,833 --> 00:33:35,625 Oh. 443 00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:39,125 That's, that's, um… That's really nice. 444 00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:40,583 We're not supp… 445 00:33:41,625 --> 00:33:43,833 We're not allowed… 446 00:33:43,916 --> 00:33:48,083 -…to go in the actors' trailers. -Oh, I won't tell anyone. 447 00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:53,125 -The offer's there. -Thank you. So it's that way, huh? 448 00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,375 Yeah. 449 00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:57,916 Yeah. Or are you just going to the Portaloo? 450 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,708 Um… Cool. 451 00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:37,458 Boss? 452 00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:41,166 Oh, yep, all right. 453 00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,208 Yeah, hey. 454 00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:44,666 All right, I give up. Okay. 455 00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,500 You have to take him. He's so fucking bored. 456 00:34:46,583 --> 00:34:47,666 I know he is. 457 00:34:47,750 --> 00:34:48,958 -He's so annoying. -Jay? 458 00:34:49,041 --> 00:34:50,750 -Yes? -We're out. Let's go. 459 00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,666 All right. You're heading out? 460 00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:54,291 -Eh? -Right, then. 461 00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:56,791 -Oh. -All right. 462 00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,833 -I haven't got my shit. -You don't need your shit. 463 00:34:59,916 --> 00:35:02,083 Just take your legs. 464 00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:03,833 Are you sure? 465 00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:22,708 I have nothing to say to you. 466 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:26,875 That's a good thing, yeah? 467 00:36:12,708 --> 00:36:14,208 What are you sensing? 468 00:36:17,916 --> 00:36:19,000 What? 469 00:36:43,416 --> 00:36:45,958 You really are a disgusting specimen. 470 00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:50,250 They leave you alone 'cause you smell. 471 00:36:53,791 --> 00:36:56,125 You think you're gonna get away from me? 472 00:36:57,833 --> 00:36:59,541 You won't. 473 00:36:59,625 --> 00:37:01,666 I am you. 474 00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:28,708 Morning. 475 00:37:33,958 --> 00:37:35,166 How did you sleep? 476 00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:37,583 Hmm. 477 00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:40,875 Dreams. 478 00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:44,458 How did you sleep? 479 00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:47,416 Well. 480 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,666 Very well. 481 00:37:54,250 --> 00:37:55,541 What did you dream? 482 00:37:57,208 --> 00:37:59,125 That I was a piece of shit. 483 00:38:03,833 --> 00:38:06,500 Oh, naughty mind, naughty mind. 484 00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:11,833 Remember… 485 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,125 Don't think, Lucy. 486 00:38:22,916 --> 00:38:24,458 Go into the anger. 487 00:38:25,791 --> 00:38:26,916 What's there? 488 00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:35,291 More fear. 489 00:38:35,375 --> 00:38:37,000 Okay. Stay with the fear. 490 00:38:40,625 --> 00:38:41,833 Really stay… 491 00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:44,625 with the fear. 492 00:38:46,583 --> 00:38:48,333 Stay. 493 00:38:51,125 --> 00:38:52,333 What's there? 494 00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:57,375 -Space. -Mm. 495 00:38:58,958 --> 00:39:00,833 -Interesting. -Mm. 496 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:06,333 Thank you. 497 00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,791 Is there anyone else? 498 00:39:22,875 --> 00:39:26,125 Um… 499 00:39:26,208 --> 00:39:28,625 Last night, I… 500 00:39:28,708 --> 00:39:33,791 I felt like I was being poured out of a vessel, and… 501 00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:37,875 I was terrified, but that was also pouring out of me. 502 00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:40,791 And it was like… 503 00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:43,083 …froth? 504 00:39:43,166 --> 00:39:46,750 And it was all, like, mixing together, 505 00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:49,541 and I was mixing together, and I became, like… 506 00:39:49,625 --> 00:39:50,958 A café latte. 507 00:39:51,041 --> 00:39:52,958 I don't know how to explain it. 508 00:39:53,041 --> 00:39:55,458 You can't explain peace, Beverly. Just enjoy it. 509 00:39:56,916 --> 00:39:58,333 Show the group your face. 510 00:40:08,750 --> 00:40:11,458 What's awake in you can catch like a cold. 511 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,625 Mm. 512 00:40:14,708 --> 00:40:16,333 -Yeah. -Yeah. 513 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,958 -Oh, thank you, Beverly. -Thank you! 514 00:40:22,166 --> 00:40:24,500 A lot of peace in the room this morning. 515 00:40:24,583 --> 00:40:27,583 So beautiful, isn't it? 516 00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:38,166 In order to avoid confusion with other seekers, 517 00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:40,083 I like to call this exercise 518 00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:42,333 "newborn again." 519 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,583 So, each of you, find a partner, please, 520 00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:55,125 and let your heart open to the gravitational pull of the other. 521 00:40:56,708 --> 00:40:57,875 That's it. 522 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,125 Everyone found a partner? 523 00:41:05,875 --> 00:41:07,583 There's an odd number. 524 00:41:07,666 --> 00:41:09,416 Uh, I can sit out. 525 00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,625 No, it's okay. 526 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,375 Oh! 527 00:41:21,333 --> 00:41:23,125 Let the snogging begin. 528 00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:25,583 -Elon! -No, I'm joking. 529 00:41:25,666 --> 00:41:28,166 I'm very much joking. Sorry. Sorry. 530 00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:31,750 No, really, um, what we're doing here is not quite that. 531 00:41:31,833 --> 00:41:35,250 So, if everyone faces… the misty mountain. 532 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,000 Now, everyone on the right is a new mother, 533 00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:41,583 and everyone else is a baby. 534 00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,791 So, new mothers, grab a blanket. 535 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,916 -Babies, you can't walk or talk. -Mm. 536 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,625 …nor do you have control of your necks. 537 00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:54,166 Mothers, your babies need swaddling, 538 00:41:55,250 --> 00:41:58,500 and this is going to be the next hour of your life. 539 00:41:58,583 --> 00:42:01,000 Sounds fun. 540 00:42:01,083 --> 00:42:03,958 Um… I think you're the mother, actually, 541 00:42:04,041 --> 00:42:05,583 'cause you're on the right side. 542 00:42:05,666 --> 00:42:07,375 Oh. I'll be the mom… 543 00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:10,250 Babies, this is your chance to feel freely. 544 00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:11,875 There is no expectation on you. 545 00:42:11,958 --> 00:42:14,375 Mothers, you will not be using an existing language 546 00:42:14,458 --> 00:42:19,375 to soothe your child, but a made-up language too. Okay? 547 00:42:19,458 --> 00:42:23,458 Your babies are gonna want things they don't even know they want yet. 548 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,416 Okay? 549 00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:27,375 Oh, and mothers, you may whisper to each other 550 00:42:27,458 --> 00:42:29,250 once every quarter hour 551 00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:32,375 in, um, English or a tongue of your choice. 552 00:42:32,458 --> 00:42:33,416 Okay. 553 00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,500 Thank you, Mark. Thank you. 554 00:42:51,416 --> 00:42:53,166 Baby bo-bo-boop-boop! 555 00:42:54,250 --> 00:42:56,666 Did baby do a poo-poo? 556 00:42:58,083 --> 00:42:59,458 Petunia? 557 00:43:00,458 --> 00:43:04,208 -I think my baby did a-- -I did not poo! 558 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,416 -Please! -No, no, no, no, no! 559 00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:17,041 Please! Please! 560 00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,541 Please stop. 561 00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:36,041 Um, babies… 562 00:44:36,125 --> 00:44:37,750 Please stop. 563 00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:39,166 …it's time to find 564 00:44:40,458 --> 00:44:41,583 a baby… 565 00:44:43,875 --> 00:44:45,291 who's not your mother… 566 00:44:48,666 --> 00:44:50,875 Babies, find a baby, not your mother. 567 00:45:29,166 --> 00:45:31,583 Now, mothers, 568 00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:34,125 find your mother, 569 00:45:36,083 --> 00:45:38,375 and tell her exactly what you mean to say. 570 00:45:44,791 --> 00:45:46,916 Okay? Find your mothers… 571 00:45:48,625 --> 00:45:51,000 and tell them exactly what you mean to say. 572 00:45:56,541 --> 00:45:58,958 Find your mother, okay? 573 00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,458 Whatever you're telling yourself is a lie. 574 00:46:03,541 --> 00:46:05,375 I fuck who I want. 575 00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:12,375 Just do it. 576 00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:13,916 He's a cancer. 577 00:46:16,666 --> 00:46:18,583 -What? -Um… 578 00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:20,583 Okay. Sorry. I… 579 00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:21,708 I'm your mom. 580 00:46:22,583 --> 00:46:24,625 Just do what? 581 00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:30,416 Just… kill yourself. 582 00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:39,916 Beverly. 583 00:46:41,375 --> 00:46:42,791 Beverly? 584 00:46:45,791 --> 00:46:47,250 Beverly, I didn't mean you. 585 00:46:48,291 --> 00:46:50,208 -Beverly! -No. No, no. 586 00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:52,250 -Don't follow me! -Listen to me. 587 00:46:53,500 --> 00:46:54,791 I meant my mother. 588 00:46:54,875 --> 00:46:56,041 I don't care. 589 00:46:56,125 --> 00:46:57,916 I meant my mom. 590 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,250 You're all pain. 591 00:46:59,333 --> 00:47:00,958 And I tried to get to know you, 592 00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:03,291 because I have a resistance to you, but no. 593 00:47:03,375 --> 00:47:05,833 You are a toxic fucking nightmare. 594 00:47:07,666 --> 00:47:09,166 Stay away from me! 595 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,583 Well, enjoy your room! 596 00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:16,708 I hear it's a good one! 597 00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:56,125 It is what you have known 598 00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:58,041 that has brought you here, 599 00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:02,375 to the precipice. 600 00:48:06,958 --> 00:48:08,416 In this chapter, we will explore… 601 00:48:09,666 --> 00:48:11,583 …the final frontier of the mind… 602 00:48:12,750 --> 00:48:16,750 …and what, for the ego, can seem like disaster… 603 00:48:19,041 --> 00:48:23,333 …or even annihilation. 604 00:48:36,708 --> 00:48:38,291 No more. 605 00:48:42,333 --> 00:48:44,083 I get it. 606 00:48:44,166 --> 00:48:45,250 I'm nothing. 607 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:05,125 10,000. 608 00:49:07,250 --> 00:49:09,458 9,999. 609 00:49:11,666 --> 00:49:14,333 9,998. 610 00:49:16,208 --> 00:49:18,666 9,997. 611 00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:25,541 Elon! 612 00:49:25,625 --> 00:49:28,125 -Yes, Petunia? -Can I get you anything? 613 00:49:30,541 --> 00:49:32,791 No, thank you, Petunia. I'm perfectly well in here. 614 00:49:32,875 --> 00:49:34,125 Okay. 615 00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:44,375 Elon? 616 00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:48,291 You never tell the story of how it happened any more… 617 00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:51,250 your awakening. 618 00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:53,916 No. 619 00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:59,125 Is that a permanent decision? 620 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,166 People focus on it too much. 621 00:50:04,875 --> 00:50:05,916 It won't help. 622 00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,291 Would you tell me again? 623 00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:12,125 No. 624 00:50:13,916 --> 00:50:16,416 It won't help you, Petunia. 625 00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:18,500 Fair enough. 626 00:50:19,666 --> 00:50:21,166 It's just a story. 627 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,041 Yes. 628 00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:38,541 Don't try so hard. 629 00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:40,708 Okay. 630 00:51:40,791 --> 00:51:43,583 Sorry. 631 00:51:43,666 --> 00:51:46,041 Ah, okay. Hmm. 632 00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:47,333 -Don't edit. -Hmm. 633 00:51:47,416 --> 00:51:49,000 -Don't try. -Okay. 634 00:51:49,083 --> 00:51:50,541 You are not broken. 635 00:51:52,416 --> 00:51:53,708 You are enough. 636 00:52:06,041 --> 00:52:07,250 How do you know? 637 00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:13,458 I just… 638 00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,000 I just know. 639 00:52:16,291 --> 00:52:17,958 Mm, I hope you're right. 640 00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:22,791 'Cause I wasn't enough for my mother… 641 00:52:25,541 --> 00:52:27,791 or the father of my child 642 00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:29,333 or my child. 643 00:52:33,166 --> 00:52:34,500 In what way? What's-- 644 00:52:34,583 --> 00:52:36,125 What's the story? 645 00:52:36,208 --> 00:52:39,083 To stay alive for. 646 00:52:44,333 --> 00:52:45,875 To stay with. 647 00:52:51,375 --> 00:52:54,583 My child, she still wants something. 648 00:52:54,666 --> 00:52:57,750 And I don't know what it is. 649 00:52:57,833 --> 00:52:59,958 And I'm scared… 650 00:53:03,041 --> 00:53:06,250 …that I just don't have it. 651 00:53:08,750 --> 00:53:09,750 So… 652 00:53:14,500 --> 00:53:15,541 I hope you're right. 653 00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:17,291 Don't hope! 654 00:53:18,541 --> 00:53:20,125 Don't hope! 655 00:53:23,083 --> 00:53:24,000 Be! 656 00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:30,875 Never 657 00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:33,333 ever 658 00:53:33,416 --> 00:53:34,708 give in to hope. 659 00:53:40,250 --> 00:53:41,250 Just be. 660 00:53:53,875 --> 00:53:55,083 Do you want some water? 661 00:54:14,375 --> 00:54:18,875 I just want to thank Elon and… and everyone. Um… 662 00:54:18,958 --> 00:54:20,375 I feel giddy. 663 00:54:21,958 --> 00:54:25,208 And Beverly, your face… 664 00:54:25,291 --> 00:54:26,291 Thank you. 665 00:54:45,041 --> 00:54:49,083 I don't know what's gonna happen next, 666 00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:50,583 but I've surrendered to it. 667 00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:55,125 It's like… 668 00:54:56,750 --> 00:55:00,000 I'm talking, but what I'm saying… 669 00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:03,041 might as well be nothing. 670 00:55:07,541 --> 00:55:09,333 Nothing 671 00:55:09,416 --> 00:55:10,500 might be better. 672 00:55:15,958 --> 00:55:17,166 Maybe I have… 673 00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:21,125 Maybe I have nothing to say. 674 00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:27,416 Why don't you shut the fuck up, then? 675 00:55:28,416 --> 00:55:30,416 No. No 676 00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:31,708 No! 677 00:55:31,791 --> 00:55:34,041 Whoa! 678 00:55:42,208 --> 00:55:43,750 Oh, my God! 679 00:55:43,833 --> 00:55:46,208 No surrender! 680 00:55:47,958 --> 00:55:49,458 -I know-- -No more! 681 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,416 Get her! 682 00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:54,416 No! 683 00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:58,000 There's blood, lots of blood! 684 00:55:59,833 --> 00:56:02,416 She could have concussion, or a spinal! 685 00:56:04,125 --> 00:56:05,250 Oh, my God! 686 00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:08,416 You know what, Dion? Maybe you should kill your dad. 687 00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:12,000 He sounds like a real asshole. 688 00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:17,166 Shut the fuck up. 689 00:56:34,583 --> 00:56:36,208 Have you seen Elon? 690 00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:41,166 No, she's the bad one. It's a citizen's arrest. 691 00:56:41,250 --> 00:56:43,750 Citizen's arrests are not a real thing. 692 00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,708 Okay, ten steps back. 693 00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:47,750 This is a crime scene. We need to process. 694 00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,541 She wants me to carry her to the car. 695 00:57:02,458 --> 00:57:04,708 I'll go quietly if he carries me. 696 00:57:06,916 --> 00:57:10,791 Otherwise, I'll pee my pants and shit myself if I can, 697 00:57:11,875 --> 00:57:13,833 and that smell will be in your car. 698 00:57:15,583 --> 00:57:17,500 Elon! 699 00:57:17,583 --> 00:57:18,791 I think she means it. 700 00:58:33,083 --> 00:58:34,625 Are we there yet? 701 00:58:44,708 --> 00:58:46,041 Are we there yet? 702 00:59:01,958 --> 00:59:03,375 Bless you. 703 00:59:18,958 --> 00:59:21,000 Grab, and turn. 704 00:59:22,666 --> 00:59:24,208 Smash. Throw the arm. 705 00:59:24,291 --> 00:59:26,458 Okay. 706 00:59:26,541 --> 00:59:28,583 Stab, and grab. 707 00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:31,250 Smash. 708 00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:33,083 All right, one more, one more. Oops. No. 709 00:59:33,166 --> 00:59:34,708 My bad. Sorry. 710 00:59:34,791 --> 00:59:38,208 And three, two, one, action! 711 00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,291 Wrong hand. Wrong hand. Wrong ha-- 712 01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:04,083 Oh, shit! 713 01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:06,291 Dylan! Dylan! 714 01:00:08,333 --> 01:00:10,750 -Anyone got eyes on her? -I can't see her. 715 01:00:10,833 --> 01:00:14,375 Let's get some riggers down there. Let's go, please. Dylan, talk to me! 716 01:00:16,125 --> 01:00:18,166 Dylan! 717 01:00:18,250 --> 01:00:20,125 Dylan, talk to me! 718 01:00:21,875 --> 01:00:24,416 Uh, we've got a head injury, concussion, GCS 12. 719 01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,208 Yeah, at Paradise Hills. 720 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,916 At the film set. 721 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,208 No. Jeneane. 722 01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,541 Give me one of those, please. 723 01:00:32,625 --> 01:00:34,375 -For crying out loud! -Thank you. 724 01:00:34,458 --> 01:00:35,708 It'll kill you too. 725 01:00:35,791 --> 01:00:38,500 Not if I don't crush my brain with blood 726 01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,500 from the inside first. 727 01:00:51,916 --> 01:00:53,625 Oh! 728 01:00:53,708 --> 01:00:56,041 Hey. 729 01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:58,708 -I wanna kill myself. -No. 730 01:00:58,791 --> 01:01:00,000 No. 731 01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:02,333 Sorry I can't move. I'm not allowed. 732 01:01:02,416 --> 01:01:04,208 Well, I don't wanna hurt you more. 733 01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:06,583 I think you're being dramatic. 734 01:01:06,666 --> 01:01:08,208 It was like a dream. 735 01:01:08,291 --> 01:01:10,416 You don't know why you like it, but you do. 736 01:01:11,875 --> 01:01:13,083 It's so strange. 737 01:01:14,375 --> 01:01:16,000 You're strange. 738 01:01:24,541 --> 01:01:26,625 -I'll come check on you later. -Okay. 739 01:01:33,250 --> 01:01:35,166 When she fell, I was so worried. 740 01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:36,541 She still has the wig on. 741 01:01:36,625 --> 01:01:38,875 You'll have to see if they'll let you in the ambulance. 742 01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,458 Well, I could just take the pins out and lift it gently. 743 01:01:41,541 --> 01:01:43,500 No, I don't want anyone touching her head. 744 01:01:43,583 --> 01:01:46,375 -Don't you guys do spare wigs? -She is the spare. 745 01:01:47,791 --> 01:01:49,875 So this is gonna be all about rest, 746 01:01:49,958 --> 01:01:53,291 that's no phones, no screens and no alcohol. 747 01:01:53,375 --> 01:01:54,666 Um… 748 01:01:54,750 --> 01:01:55,916 Meditation can be good. 749 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:59,375 And the concussion clinic's gonna fill you in with the details. 750 01:02:01,833 --> 01:02:04,541 Oh, no blackouts at the halfway party, then. 751 01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,583 Boring. 752 01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:09,750 I love seeing who has surprise partners. 753 01:02:11,541 --> 01:02:13,208 You don't act like you've got someone. 754 01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:16,416 -Uh-uh. No, I don't. -Oh, good for you. 755 01:02:18,875 --> 01:02:20,625 Elmore's girlfriend's coming. 756 01:02:22,041 --> 01:02:23,833 Apparently, she's really nice. 757 01:02:23,916 --> 01:02:26,666 Though, I never trust nice, eh? 758 01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:30,250 Do you? Like, what even is nice? 759 01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,041 Hang on, I'm just gonna… 760 01:02:32,125 --> 01:02:34,541 Okay. All right. Let's hurry, then. 761 01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:37,958 Sorry. No, not you. You don't hurry. Take your time. 762 01:02:38,041 --> 01:02:41,208 Um… I think… I'm gonna walk. 763 01:02:42,583 --> 01:02:44,416 -Really? -Yeah, I'm gonna walk. 764 01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,708 -Are you sure? -Yeah, I feel like it. 765 01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:51,250 Okay. Don't hit your face. 766 01:02:51,333 --> 01:02:53,083 I think your phone's ringing. 767 01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:55,666 Okay. 768 01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:04,916 Dad? 769 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,625 Dylan, have you heard from your mom? 770 01:03:07,708 --> 01:03:09,166 No, uh… 771 01:03:11,083 --> 01:03:15,708 No, I haven't heard from her. She's in the US on some retreat 772 01:03:15,791 --> 01:03:18,666 -and doesn't wanna be dis-- -Dylan, she's in jail. 773 01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:19,916 She's gone to jail. 774 01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:25,625 She hit a DJ with a chair, apparently. 775 01:03:25,708 --> 01:03:27,375 Mom did what? 776 01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:55,541 -Hello there. -Hello there. 777 01:03:55,625 --> 01:03:57,208 -Lucy? -Yes. 778 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,083 I'm your public defender, Leonard Gow. 779 01:04:03,750 --> 01:04:07,875 You can call me Leo, like the star sign, if you like. 780 01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:09,708 Is it your star sign? 781 01:04:09,791 --> 01:04:11,958 Um, no. It's Virgo. 782 01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,833 Why? What does it mean? 783 01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:17,958 Nothing. 784 01:04:18,041 --> 01:04:19,458 What do you want it to mean? 785 01:04:20,208 --> 01:04:23,458 That I'm… special. 786 01:04:24,625 --> 01:04:26,000 You're very special. 787 01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:28,875 My mom was always saying so. 788 01:04:29,625 --> 01:04:31,333 So, uh, Lucy, 789 01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,958 we have your arraignment in 15 minutes. 790 01:04:37,291 --> 01:04:38,541 You wanna go to prison? 791 01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:45,916 So, what, you're thinking you're going to play Gandhi, are you? 792 01:04:48,125 --> 01:04:49,250 Nelson Mandela? 793 01:04:51,416 --> 01:04:54,541 A middle-aged white lady who hit a model with a chair. 794 01:04:54,625 --> 01:04:56,083 She's not just a model. 795 01:04:57,125 --> 01:05:00,500 She's also a DJ and actually a very annoying person. 796 01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:09,250 Can I ask you something? 797 01:05:09,916 --> 01:05:11,041 Sure. 798 01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:14,583 Do I remind you of your mommy? 799 01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:21,000 A bit, actually. 800 01:05:23,583 --> 01:05:24,750 Is she dead? 801 01:05:31,750 --> 01:05:34,041 Yes. 802 01:05:35,583 --> 01:05:36,833 How did you know? 803 01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:39,958 'Cause I'm dead too. 804 01:05:44,458 --> 01:05:47,208 She could whistle so loud it would burst your eardrums. 805 01:05:48,708 --> 01:05:49,916 Big laugh. 806 01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:53,291 Was always very honest. 807 01:05:56,583 --> 01:05:58,583 I bet she wasn't entirely honest. 808 01:06:03,750 --> 01:06:04,916 How do you wanna plead? 809 01:06:09,958 --> 01:06:11,833 I don't feel guilty. 810 01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,708 -You almost killed her. -But you did… 811 01:06:18,791 --> 01:06:21,875 But it was a really fucking good punch, by the way. 812 01:06:24,666 --> 01:06:27,250 -Dyl Pickle, hi. -Came to check on you. 813 01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:29,166 -Came… -I… Um… 814 01:06:30,083 --> 01:06:32,708 You look… Okay. 815 01:06:35,791 --> 01:06:37,541 Yeah, I think… 816 01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,375 Well, I thought I was doing really well, 817 01:06:40,458 --> 01:06:43,041 but I think I might be at quite a low point in my life. 818 01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:50,208 Oh. 819 01:07:16,875 --> 01:07:18,041 Are you open? 820 01:07:20,041 --> 01:07:23,291 Like, as a person or… 821 01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,000 Uh, no. Are you… 822 01:07:29,125 --> 01:07:31,333 Are you in an open relationship? 823 01:07:35,583 --> 01:07:36,666 No. 824 01:07:41,208 --> 01:07:42,250 Mom. 825 01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:44,250 Hi. I don't listen to these. 826 01:07:48,750 --> 01:07:51,625 I feel so bad! 827 01:07:56,666 --> 01:08:00,083 You're so cute. You're not as cute. 828 01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,916 You're not as cute. 829 01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,416 You're so cute. You're so cute. 830 01:08:04,500 --> 01:08:07,041 You're cute too. You're a little bit cute. 831 01:08:42,125 --> 01:08:43,208 Say it. 832 01:08:45,416 --> 01:08:46,750 They're letting you go. 833 01:08:55,125 --> 01:08:56,375 Have you heard things? 834 01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:58,625 Heard what? 835 01:09:02,291 --> 01:09:03,875 -Hey. -Nothing. 836 01:09:09,916 --> 01:09:11,208 Go to bed, Dyl. 837 01:09:14,541 --> 01:09:16,166 Don't tell me what to do. 838 01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:41,041 Sorry. 839 01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:57,166 That looks like a weapon. Can I take a look? 840 01:09:58,291 --> 01:10:01,375 It's, um… It's just… It's a walking stick. 841 01:10:01,458 --> 01:10:03,000 Just goes with my… 842 01:10:06,166 --> 01:10:07,583 It's just a stick. 843 01:10:08,750 --> 01:10:09,875 Hmm. 844 01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:11,625 Thank you. 845 01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:20,958 Oh, fuck. 846 01:10:21,041 --> 01:10:22,458 Wake up. Wake up. 847 01:10:22,541 --> 01:10:24,250 Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. 848 01:10:24,333 --> 01:10:25,875 Wake up. 849 01:10:25,958 --> 01:10:27,208 I'm sorry. 850 01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:39,833 Welcome aboard Armstrong Airways. 851 01:10:41,041 --> 01:10:43,083 If evacuating the aircraft, 852 01:10:43,166 --> 01:10:46,333 passengers are required to leave all personal baggage behind. 853 01:10:47,250 --> 01:10:49,166 All of it. 854 01:10:49,250 --> 01:10:51,916 In the unlikely case of an emergency, 855 01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,875 if you are experiencing panic, 856 01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:56,000 try panicking on your own a little first. 857 01:10:57,333 --> 01:11:00,208 And if the plane does make an unexpected landing, 858 01:11:00,291 --> 01:11:02,875 remember to never give in to hope. 859 01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:10,000 Excuse me. 860 01:11:10,083 --> 01:11:13,125 I don't mean to disturb you, but the plane is crashing. 861 01:11:15,708 --> 01:11:18,041 There might be something we could do. 862 01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:22,541 -What? -We could… kiss? 863 01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:28,916 I'm stuck! 864 01:11:39,166 --> 01:11:40,541 Mom? 865 01:11:45,458 --> 01:11:47,958 Could I have some chips, please? 866 01:12:15,125 --> 01:12:17,333 -No. Get out, please! Please! -Beverly, come on. 867 01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:20,208 -Mom's here to see you. -Get rid of her! Get out! 868 01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:31,541 It's not her frickin' birthday, she's on trial. Fuck! 869 01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:19,750 Mom. 870 01:13:24,250 --> 01:13:25,541 What are you doing here? 871 01:13:27,791 --> 01:13:29,875 I'm here to support you. 872 01:13:34,041 --> 01:13:35,208 I'm all right. 873 01:13:37,166 --> 01:13:38,375 Yeah, I'm okay. 874 01:13:39,541 --> 01:13:41,958 Um, I have my lawyer. 875 01:13:42,041 --> 01:13:43,666 He's very nice. Um… 876 01:13:46,333 --> 01:13:49,083 He thinks I'm lovely, like his mommy. Could you imagine? 877 01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:54,291 Um, I got you a present. 878 01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:00,291 Thank you. 879 01:14:12,416 --> 01:14:15,375 Can I get a room, please? The cheapest? 880 01:14:15,458 --> 01:14:17,083 Oh. 881 01:14:17,166 --> 01:14:19,125 We're fully booked by the wedding. 882 01:14:46,083 --> 01:14:48,625 Can I stay in your room tonight, please? 883 01:14:51,541 --> 01:14:52,958 Of course, my darling. 884 01:14:58,083 --> 01:14:59,458 You look like a pirate. 885 01:15:03,375 --> 01:15:05,083 That one's mine. 886 01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:15,625 You want a hug? 887 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:28,333 Was it an accident? 888 01:15:41,041 --> 01:15:42,083 You gonna hurt me? 889 01:15:42,166 --> 01:15:43,583 Haven't I already? 890 01:15:58,041 --> 01:15:59,291 Do you regret it? 891 01:16:01,166 --> 01:16:02,625 I don't know, Dylan. 892 01:16:05,333 --> 01:16:07,958 It just felt right in the moment. 893 01:16:11,458 --> 01:16:13,166 Well, violence is not the answer. 894 01:16:14,125 --> 01:16:15,791 It's not what I was looking for. 895 01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:19,958 Your job's very violent. 896 01:16:20,041 --> 01:16:21,791 It's not real. It's pretend. 897 01:16:22,583 --> 01:16:23,750 Doesn't look pretend. 898 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:28,666 It doesn't solve anything. 899 01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,083 Okay, well… 900 01:16:30,166 --> 01:16:32,375 You smell. You should have a shower. 901 01:16:37,750 --> 01:16:39,000 Mom, be serious. 902 01:16:40,083 --> 01:16:41,833 Why'd you do it? 903 01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:45,583 She was very fucking annoying, okay? 904 01:16:45,666 --> 01:16:47,500 Okay. Well, that's actually not good enough. 905 01:16:47,583 --> 01:16:48,708 Mm! 906 01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:51,000 You're annoying too. 907 01:16:52,041 --> 01:16:54,375 -Are you threatening me? -Mm-hmm. Maybe. 908 01:16:55,791 --> 01:16:57,041 You can't take me. 909 01:17:00,041 --> 01:17:01,041 I don't know. 910 01:17:01,125 --> 01:17:03,708 I have more real-life experience than you. 911 01:17:03,791 --> 01:17:05,125 -I'm bigger. -Mm-hmm. 912 01:17:05,208 --> 01:17:07,791 And I'm stronger. And I'm-- I'm younger. 913 01:17:07,875 --> 01:17:10,125 Uh-huh. And you're injured. 914 01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:11,250 Hmm. 915 01:17:11,333 --> 01:17:12,500 And you'll be injured. 916 01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:15,791 -Mm. -I'm joking. 917 01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:19,375 Same. 918 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,458 Oh, I'm so hungry. 919 01:17:31,458 --> 01:17:32,416 You? 920 01:18:02,916 --> 01:18:03,958 Um… 921 01:18:07,041 --> 01:18:08,541 Can I have some of your pizza? 922 01:18:10,458 --> 01:18:11,500 No. 923 01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:14,166 Why not? 924 01:18:14,250 --> 01:18:17,083 Because I asked you, and it's a mini pizza, 925 01:18:17,166 --> 01:18:18,958 -and I'm tired and hungry-- -Please! 926 01:18:20,250 --> 01:18:21,833 -Please. Please, please, please. -Uh-uh. 927 01:18:21,916 --> 01:18:23,583 -I changed my mind. -No! 928 01:18:29,125 --> 01:18:30,500 -No! -Ha-ha! 929 01:18:33,416 --> 01:18:35,416 Oh, it's not very good, is it? 930 01:18:37,958 --> 01:18:39,000 Here. 931 01:18:46,625 --> 01:18:48,083 Oh, you hate me, don't you? 932 01:18:50,750 --> 01:18:51,708 Hmm. 933 01:18:53,791 --> 01:18:55,583 It didn't take very much, did it? 934 01:19:04,250 --> 01:19:05,625 You're not showering? 935 01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:20,833 Dylan. 936 01:19:21,541 --> 01:19:22,708 What's going on? 937 01:19:26,083 --> 01:19:28,083 Do you think I'm a bad mother? 938 01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:32,791 Can you not do that? 939 01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:40,166 Was I bad? 940 01:19:43,041 --> 01:19:44,416 It doesn't matter. 941 01:19:47,916 --> 01:19:52,541 I mean, you were bad sometimes, but you're not a bad person. 942 01:19:54,208 --> 01:19:55,958 It's just bad behavior. 943 01:20:02,166 --> 01:20:04,041 And what did you want from me? 944 01:20:07,708 --> 01:20:11,583 I wanted you to get what you wanted or to get it for you, 945 01:20:13,666 --> 01:20:17,875 so you would look at me like you weren't waiting to look away. 946 01:20:21,125 --> 01:20:23,041 And when I was really little, 947 01:20:24,541 --> 01:20:27,958 I thought you were trying to escape me, but… 948 01:20:31,375 --> 01:20:32,958 You were just unhappy, right? 949 01:20:34,166 --> 01:20:35,583 It was just a hard time. 950 01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,750 In what ways was I bad? 951 01:20:41,750 --> 01:20:44,625 You… You weren't. 952 01:20:44,708 --> 01:20:46,166 Your, um… 953 01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:49,083 Grandma was difficult, and she was complicated, 954 01:20:49,166 --> 01:20:53,833 and then that just made it hard for you to give me… 955 01:20:53,916 --> 01:20:55,041 what I needed. 956 01:20:56,625 --> 01:20:57,875 What did you need? 957 01:21:02,208 --> 01:21:05,291 Well, it's hard to think of, like, a specific thing 958 01:21:05,375 --> 01:21:06,666 off the top of my head. 959 01:21:07,416 --> 01:21:08,625 Um… 960 01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:11,708 And you were quite needy, though. 961 01:21:22,666 --> 01:21:25,708 Well, I was just struggling like a normal kid with… 962 01:21:25,791 --> 01:21:28,333 normal depressive feelings, 963 01:21:29,666 --> 01:21:32,958 and you told me that I was just like your mom 964 01:21:33,041 --> 01:21:34,375 who tried to kill herself. 965 01:21:34,458 --> 01:21:36,208 You did. You tried. 966 01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:38,416 -You did try to-- -No, I didn't. It was for fun. 967 01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:41,083 You hurled yourself off the neighbors' roof, Dylan. 968 01:21:41,166 --> 01:21:42,916 No, into the pool for fun. 969 01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:46,041 You ate all the sleeping pills and drank all of the alcohol, 970 01:21:46,125 --> 01:21:47,541 and it was the shallow end. 971 01:21:47,625 --> 01:21:49,458 No, it was the deep end. 972 01:21:49,541 --> 01:21:51,458 And I had some sleeping pills, 973 01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:54,333 and I drank so I could feel good and high. 974 01:21:54,416 --> 01:21:57,916 And I was sad sometimes, but I thought I was gonna be okay. 975 01:21:59,791 --> 01:22:03,458 And I wanted you to think I was gonna be okay too. 976 01:22:03,541 --> 01:22:05,166 It was a fucking party. 977 01:22:05,250 --> 01:22:07,583 It was eight o'clock in the morning. 978 01:22:07,666 --> 01:22:09,291 And you were cutting yourself. 979 01:22:09,375 --> 01:22:12,791 I'm sorry. You were cutting yourself with my Italian kitchen knives. 980 01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,166 I did that twice. 981 01:22:14,916 --> 01:22:17,166 And it was a cry for help, and I… 982 01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:19,333 I don't communicate like that anymore. 983 01:22:19,416 --> 01:22:22,916 Okay, well, see, that's what I'm saying, that is quite manipulative-- 984 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:25,416 It was not 8:00 a.m. It was night. 985 01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:28,375 I remember you pitching yourself off the roof, 986 01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:30,041 and the sun was coming up. 987 01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:31,708 I will never forget that. 988 01:22:31,791 --> 01:22:33,958 Mom, what are you talking about? 989 01:22:34,041 --> 01:22:35,250 You weren't there! 990 01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:38,333 -Yes, I was. -No, you weren't! 991 01:22:38,416 --> 01:22:39,750 Yes, I was! 992 01:22:47,125 --> 01:22:48,291 Where was I? 993 01:22:49,458 --> 01:22:50,625 You were on a retreat. 994 01:22:54,458 --> 01:22:57,833 And when you came back, you told me that if I had died, 995 01:22:58,875 --> 01:23:00,166 you would like to think 996 01:23:01,791 --> 01:23:03,041 you would get over it. 997 01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,541 Well, I'd like to think I would get over it. 998 01:23:11,208 --> 01:23:12,291 I don't wanna be… 999 01:23:13,583 --> 01:23:16,375 miserable because I love you. I wanna be free. 1000 01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:21,791 You are miserable. 1001 01:23:21,875 --> 01:23:24,375 And you are fucking free! 1002 01:23:40,125 --> 01:23:41,958 -Dylan, uh-- -No. 1003 01:23:57,416 --> 01:23:58,541 Hey! 1004 01:24:00,791 --> 01:24:01,833 Lawyer. 1005 01:24:02,458 --> 01:24:03,458 Breakfast. 1006 01:24:45,750 --> 01:24:46,916 Oh, here she comes. 1007 01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:49,416 This is my daughter. 1008 01:24:51,166 --> 01:24:52,666 Hello. I'm Dylan. 1009 01:24:52,750 --> 01:24:54,916 Hi. Leonard. I'm the lawyer. 1010 01:24:55,791 --> 01:24:57,500 -Nice to meet you. -You too. 1011 01:24:58,875 --> 01:25:00,083 I'm wearing the jacket. 1012 01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:05,750 Um… 1013 01:25:06,791 --> 01:25:08,375 What can I get ya? 1014 01:25:08,458 --> 01:25:09,625 I'm still thinking. 1015 01:25:13,083 --> 01:25:16,375 I'll have the vegetarian big breakfast with a side of… 1016 01:25:18,958 --> 01:25:21,208 -Does your gravy have meat in it? -Yeah. 1017 01:25:21,291 --> 01:25:22,625 Oh, never mind. 1018 01:25:22,708 --> 01:25:26,166 I'll get, um… a side of bacon. 1019 01:25:26,250 --> 01:25:28,750 Could you make it crispy but not burnt? 1020 01:25:30,041 --> 01:25:30,958 With what? 1021 01:25:32,791 --> 01:25:33,791 Um… 1022 01:25:35,916 --> 01:25:38,083 -I'll have the pancakes. -Mm. 1023 01:25:39,041 --> 01:25:41,875 -Do you have a special? -Uh, we might. 1024 01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:44,208 I'll go check the board. It's down the other end. 1025 01:25:44,291 --> 01:25:46,083 -Um… -Mom! 1026 01:25:46,166 --> 01:25:47,666 Yes, please. 1027 01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:48,708 What? 1028 01:25:51,416 --> 01:25:53,958 Can we get our coffee orders in first, please? 1029 01:25:54,041 --> 01:25:56,958 Oh, yeah. They normally take me a bit longer. 1030 01:25:57,041 --> 01:25:58,125 What do you want? 1031 01:25:58,208 --> 01:25:59,750 Um, black coffee, thanks. 1032 01:25:59,833 --> 01:26:01,125 Black for me too. 1033 01:26:01,208 --> 01:26:02,416 What kind of milk do you have? 1034 01:26:02,500 --> 01:26:03,833 We got all the milks. 1035 01:26:03,916 --> 01:26:06,916 Um, I'll have black too, 1036 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:09,458 uh, with coconut milk on the side. 1037 01:26:09,541 --> 01:26:10,958 We don't have coconut milk. 1038 01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:15,791 Oh, um… soy milk, heated, please. 1039 01:26:17,541 --> 01:26:20,458 And you know what? I… Don't worry about the special. 1040 01:26:20,541 --> 01:26:23,708 I'll have the vegetarian big breakfast too. 1041 01:26:23,791 --> 01:26:25,291 With bacon on the side? 1042 01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:26,625 Yeah. Crispy, please. 1043 01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,958 If you're going that way, maybe just, 1044 01:26:30,041 --> 01:26:33,041 do tell me what the special is, 'cause maybe I will change my order. 1045 01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:34,125 Mm-hmm. 1046 01:26:35,208 --> 01:26:38,125 Uh… big V breakfast, pancakes, 1047 01:26:38,208 --> 01:26:42,458 big V breakfast with crispy bacon, or maybe the special… 1048 01:26:42,541 --> 01:26:45,625 Three black coffees, soy milk on the side. 1049 01:26:45,708 --> 01:26:48,291 -Heated. -Hot milk. Yeah. 1050 01:26:48,375 --> 01:26:49,916 And maybe the special. 1051 01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:53,416 -Thank you. -Thank you. 1052 01:26:55,875 --> 01:26:56,916 So… 1053 01:26:58,583 --> 01:27:02,000 Lucy, I have to ask you one thing. 1054 01:27:02,083 --> 01:27:03,958 Is it okay to do so in front of your daughter? 1055 01:27:06,416 --> 01:27:08,416 Yeah. Absolutely. 1056 01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:10,750 -Okay. -Hmm. 1057 01:27:11,833 --> 01:27:14,333 Did you say to Beverly Woods… 1058 01:27:16,791 --> 01:27:18,416 that she should kill herself? 1059 01:27:22,958 --> 01:27:24,458 I did. 1060 01:27:24,541 --> 01:27:26,083 But, I… 1061 01:27:26,166 --> 01:27:28,416 It wasn't her that I meant to say it to. 1062 01:27:30,791 --> 01:27:32,083 It was a role-play. 1063 01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:35,875 Okay. And who were you saying it to? 1064 01:27:35,958 --> 01:27:38,375 It was me… Wasn't it? 1065 01:27:40,541 --> 01:27:41,625 No. 1066 01:27:43,500 --> 01:27:45,500 No, it wasn't you. 1067 01:27:47,333 --> 01:27:50,875 Dylan, why do you act like I hate you? 1068 01:27:52,666 --> 01:27:54,458 Because you act like you hate me. 1069 01:28:05,833 --> 01:28:10,791 Well, uh, I certainly don't hate you. 1070 01:28:10,875 --> 01:28:12,125 Uh… 1071 01:28:12,208 --> 01:28:13,625 I love you. I… 1072 01:28:14,708 --> 01:28:18,166 I love… I love you more than life itself. 1073 01:28:19,375 --> 01:28:20,291 Um… 1074 01:28:23,875 --> 01:28:26,791 I was role-playing to my mother. Excuse me. 1075 01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:29,625 I just… 1076 01:28:29,708 --> 01:28:31,791 I have to go to the bathroom for a second. 1077 01:28:35,375 --> 01:28:36,375 Um… 1078 01:28:39,875 --> 01:28:42,166 What I did to Beverly was, um… 1079 01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,166 It was very unfair, and… 1080 01:28:48,458 --> 01:28:50,208 we should just do whatever's right. 1081 01:28:51,666 --> 01:28:53,458 Right, Leo? 1082 01:28:53,541 --> 01:28:55,500 Uh… 1083 01:28:55,583 --> 01:28:57,750 It's very good to hear that you're remorseful, 1084 01:28:57,833 --> 01:29:00,541 but right is, realizations aside, 1085 01:29:00,625 --> 01:29:02,666 kinda relative in the law. 1086 01:29:03,708 --> 01:29:06,666 I mean, you broke it, so you're already in the wrong. 1087 01:29:09,500 --> 01:29:10,625 Right. 1088 01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,625 Excuse me. 1089 01:29:24,875 --> 01:29:25,875 Are you okay? 1090 01:29:29,541 --> 01:29:33,500 -Okay? Sorry about this. -No. I've… I've seen… 1091 01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:35,541 Uh, that's not what I… 1092 01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:44,125 Hey, is there a bathroom out there? 1093 01:29:47,833 --> 01:29:49,083 Uh… 1094 01:29:49,166 --> 01:29:50,666 No. 1095 01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:52,375 Just the great outdoors. 1096 01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:01,291 Lucy! 1097 01:30:02,416 --> 01:30:03,375 Ugh! 1098 01:30:20,166 --> 01:30:21,791 It's gotta stop. 1099 01:30:24,375 --> 01:30:27,541 All this nonsense, all this cruelty-- 1100 01:30:27,625 --> 01:30:30,958 Actually, you have got to stop, because you are the adult. 1101 01:30:31,041 --> 01:30:33,250 But you are an adult now too. 1102 01:30:36,291 --> 01:30:38,125 Dylan, you're… 1103 01:30:38,208 --> 01:30:40,416 You're gonna have to find a way to forgive me, 1104 01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:43,500 and then you're gonna have to find a way to forgive yourself 1105 01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:45,250 for taking so long to forgive me. 1106 01:30:46,125 --> 01:30:48,625 Look, what I should have said, 1107 01:30:48,708 --> 01:30:53,916 you are the fiercest and most terrifyingly alive thing 1108 01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:56,041 that could have come out of me. 1109 01:30:56,125 --> 01:30:58,250 And if you died, 1110 01:30:58,333 --> 01:31:00,583 I'd have to believe that I could get over it, 1111 01:31:00,666 --> 01:31:02,416 because I'm not sure that I could. 1112 01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:05,791 I mean, I'm barely managing to get over everything else. 1113 01:31:08,458 --> 01:31:11,458 Well, you probably should've said nothing of the kind. 1114 01:31:11,541 --> 01:31:12,583 You should've… 1115 01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:16,500 hugged me and gotten professional help. 1116 01:31:17,333 --> 01:31:18,541 But I appreciate it. 1117 01:31:21,291 --> 01:31:22,291 Right. 1118 01:31:25,291 --> 01:31:26,625 Right. 1119 01:31:27,708 --> 01:31:29,125 Fuck! 1120 01:31:29,208 --> 01:31:30,333 I mean… 1121 01:31:31,250 --> 01:31:33,250 Fuck. 1122 01:31:35,041 --> 01:31:37,208 I'm a fucking mess. 1123 01:31:40,458 --> 01:31:41,583 Mm-hm. 1124 01:31:48,458 --> 01:31:49,625 Well… 1125 01:31:56,458 --> 01:31:58,541 Shall we pretend we drowned in the river? 1126 01:32:05,541 --> 01:32:06,666 Just now? 1127 01:32:08,541 --> 01:32:09,541 Yeah. 1128 01:32:10,916 --> 01:32:12,125 We're ghosts. 1129 01:32:23,458 --> 01:32:25,708 -It takes the pressure off. -Mm. 1130 01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,375 I got it. 1131 01:32:44,291 --> 01:32:45,666 Ready? 1132 01:32:46,541 --> 01:32:49,041 I should've said, "Darling girl… 1133 01:32:51,625 --> 01:32:53,666 please, 1134 01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:55,333 take good care of yourself." 1135 01:32:58,041 --> 01:33:00,041 "I love you very much." 1136 01:33:12,083 --> 01:33:13,291 Yeah, I should've. 1137 01:33:14,291 --> 01:33:16,000 Mm. 1138 01:33:40,916 --> 01:33:43,458 She says the special is, um, 1139 01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:47,500 the, uh… It's, uh, eggs Benedict, um… 1140 01:33:48,875 --> 01:33:52,416 and hash with smoked salmon and… 1141 01:33:53,583 --> 01:33:55,500 capers and… 1142 01:33:55,583 --> 01:33:58,000 -Back to life. -…uh, wasabi mayo-- 1143 01:33:58,083 --> 01:33:59,083 Back to life. 1144 01:33:59,166 --> 01:34:00,458 …and coleslaw. 1145 01:34:23,875 --> 01:34:25,833 Um, did you find your mom? 1146 01:34:25,916 --> 01:34:27,500 Yeah, she… 1147 01:34:27,583 --> 01:34:28,875 Mom! 1148 01:34:28,958 --> 01:34:30,208 What's on the other side? 1149 01:34:30,291 --> 01:34:32,875 Uh, Mt. Hypnos has wolves in the national park. 1150 01:34:32,958 --> 01:34:34,500 Mom, there are wolves! 1151 01:34:37,208 --> 01:34:38,791 I have to get her. Sorry. 1152 01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:40,291 Yeah, no. Yes, indeed. 1153 01:34:40,375 --> 01:34:42,875 -The cops might take the absconding badly. -Mom! 1154 01:34:43,625 --> 01:34:47,291 Hey. Hey! I grew up around here, and I know the area, 1155 01:34:47,375 --> 01:34:49,833 and would very much like to come, and… 1156 01:34:49,916 --> 01:34:52,291 Unless I am vehemently not invited. 1157 01:34:54,666 --> 01:34:55,875 Come on! 1158 01:35:01,791 --> 01:35:04,750 There's good hiking spots around here. 1159 01:35:04,833 --> 01:35:07,791 And you can drink from the streams above the cow dung. 1160 01:35:09,083 --> 01:35:10,333 Mom! 1161 01:35:15,375 --> 01:35:17,000 Oh. Almost full reception. 1162 01:35:23,833 --> 01:35:25,041 Lucy! 1163 01:35:31,875 --> 01:35:32,958 Mm. 1164 01:35:34,291 --> 01:35:35,500 Dinner. 1165 01:35:37,166 --> 01:35:39,000 -Filling, huh? -Mm. 1166 01:35:45,083 --> 01:35:46,208 Sorry. 1167 01:35:51,958 --> 01:35:53,041 Sorry. 1168 01:35:57,875 --> 01:35:59,000 Can I… 1169 01:36:03,500 --> 01:36:04,541 Yeah. 1170 01:36:11,583 --> 01:36:13,250 What if we're enemies… 1171 01:36:13,333 --> 01:36:15,750 …and we're in battle, 1172 01:36:15,833 --> 01:36:18,833 but we have a mutual fury and respect, 1173 01:36:18,916 --> 01:36:20,583 and today we fuck… 1174 01:36:20,666 --> 01:36:22,833 …and tomorrow we're at war? 1175 01:36:25,541 --> 01:36:26,625 Isn't it kinky enough 1176 01:36:26,708 --> 01:36:29,333 that you're seducing your mother's defense attorney? 1177 01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,166 No? Okay. 1178 01:36:33,916 --> 01:36:35,208 Okay. Um… 1179 01:36:36,416 --> 01:36:39,458 At last… to have you! 1180 01:36:39,541 --> 01:36:40,875 All right! 1181 01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:46,625 Do you have a condom? 1182 01:36:46,708 --> 01:36:48,125 No. 1183 01:36:57,416 --> 01:36:58,916 Lucy! 1184 01:37:09,916 --> 01:37:11,875 Um… 1185 01:37:11,958 --> 01:37:14,375 I know this place. 1186 01:37:14,458 --> 01:37:16,166 Yeah, you keep saying. 1187 01:37:18,291 --> 01:37:19,500 No, I do. Um… 1188 01:37:20,750 --> 01:37:22,166 There's a cave around here. 1189 01:37:22,916 --> 01:37:24,458 Mm. 1190 01:37:24,541 --> 01:37:25,625 Show me. 1191 01:37:25,708 --> 01:37:27,666 Lucy, are you in here? 1192 01:37:29,250 --> 01:37:31,333 Oh, hey. Uh, don't… 1193 01:37:32,458 --> 01:37:34,458 Don't go too far. I nearly died here. 1194 01:37:34,541 --> 01:37:37,000 Why? 1195 01:37:37,083 --> 01:37:38,500 Is there a dragon? 1196 01:37:38,583 --> 01:37:40,416 No, I, um… 1197 01:37:40,500 --> 01:37:43,375 I lost sight of the mouth trying to get to the other side. 1198 01:37:44,500 --> 01:37:46,458 For a while, it was dark, 1199 01:37:46,541 --> 01:37:49,125 and then I saw this light ahead, and I was so excited, 1200 01:37:49,208 --> 01:37:50,875 but it wasn't until I saw the trees 1201 01:37:50,958 --> 01:37:53,083 that I realized it was the same way I had entered. 1202 01:37:55,166 --> 01:37:57,708 Somewhere, I'd turned all the way around. 1203 01:37:58,458 --> 01:38:01,041 I was lucky. You can't tell where you're going. 1204 01:38:02,041 --> 01:38:05,000 You could go back and forth forever, thinking it's forward. 1205 01:38:42,958 --> 01:38:44,250 Dylan? 1206 01:38:44,333 --> 01:38:46,875 Come back! I know where your mom is! 1207 01:38:56,083 --> 01:38:57,333 -You okay? -Yeah. 1208 01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,250 Did you see something? 1209 01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:03,416 No. Um… 1210 01:39:04,541 --> 01:39:06,000 How do you know where she is? 1211 01:39:08,875 --> 01:39:10,125 She's on top. 1212 01:39:11,666 --> 01:39:13,583 She's got a phone? 1213 01:39:18,125 --> 01:39:19,541 Ugh! 1214 01:39:19,625 --> 01:39:20,750 Okay. 1215 01:39:29,250 --> 01:39:30,416 Hey! 1216 01:39:31,875 --> 01:39:33,125 Hey! 1217 01:39:34,250 --> 01:39:35,458 Dylan! 1218 01:39:36,458 --> 01:39:39,166 Ugh! Come down from there. 1219 01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:40,333 No. 1220 01:39:40,416 --> 01:39:42,458 -Fuck. -You come up here. 1221 01:39:47,583 --> 01:39:48,958 Can you please come down? 1222 01:39:50,833 --> 01:39:52,541 Come here. 1223 01:40:01,916 --> 01:40:03,000 Fine. 1224 01:40:06,250 --> 01:40:07,333 Hey, Leo. 1225 01:40:08,333 --> 01:40:11,541 Take a picture of me with my daughter before I go to jail. 1226 01:40:11,625 --> 01:40:15,083 You're not gonna… go to jail. 1227 01:40:16,125 --> 01:40:17,375 Yeah… Ugh! 1228 01:40:19,875 --> 01:40:21,916 Be yourself. Be yourself. 1229 01:40:22,000 --> 01:40:24,541 -I am being myself, so-- -Just be yourself. 1230 01:40:31,083 --> 01:40:33,166 -Got it. -Okay. Now a candid one. 1231 01:40:38,875 --> 01:40:40,625 Be how you would if you were alone. 1232 01:42:09,125 --> 01:42:11,125 -Happy? -Mm. 1233 01:42:44,958 --> 01:42:46,958 -How did we look? -Cute. 1234 01:42:48,625 --> 01:42:50,083 Oh, eyes closed. 1235 01:42:51,666 --> 01:42:53,333 Dylan not smiling. 1236 01:42:54,458 --> 01:42:55,791 Wrinkles. 1237 01:42:56,875 --> 01:42:58,250 Jowls.